Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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