someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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