I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?