Her vagina should come with caution tape.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
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is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
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She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax