How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here