i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first