i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She just used a chaser for red wine.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
