Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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