I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
