dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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