goodnight i made you a song goodbye
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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