i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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