we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We talked him into tasing himself.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Enjoy the penises
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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