Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's shark week go big or go home
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