tell your sister to shave her snatch
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
