The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
