office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
