Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
