I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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