My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
