the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
