just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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