Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
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Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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