There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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