so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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