I just saw a hot homeless man
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
