How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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