he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
