Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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