I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
