thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
