Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
