forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i drank out of a bidet.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
