your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
