Apparently you make a good broom.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You were trust falling into bushes
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
