So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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