Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
