I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
