who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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