You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
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It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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