Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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