Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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