Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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