so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
