What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize