Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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