its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
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Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
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told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.