I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know