he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first