he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it