She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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