nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
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Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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