Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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