She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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