Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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