What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
