You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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