Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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