Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize