That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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