I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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