i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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