He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
